You Ask Too Much
by Watermelon Kiss
Summary: I was not the naive girl I had been; I know how it all worked. So no, I didn’t cry. The tears of grief and fear of being alone had been shed the very night before, and many other nights. KakaSaku, Sakura's POV. Character death. Please review!


Okay, I have no idea why I suddenly feel angsty like this. But here goes. Sakura's POV, she's 21 now. After you read it, please review!

**Disclaimer: Naruto, and all of its characters, are not mine.**

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**You Ask Too Much**

I woke up early that morning. The ray of morning sun passed between the curtains and the air was breezy and fresh. It was a beautiful day, only you weren't here, not anymore. I felt the hollow beside me on our bed and I wished nothing else than to have you waking up with me and us having breakfast together. But that wouldn't be possible, would it?

I didn't know that at that time, but now I do. I began to know it not long after I woke up. It was Tsunade-sama on the door, biting her lip and trying to be brave, not only because she's the Hokage and my Shishou, but also because she was trying to be brave for me.

I didn't need to hear what she had to say. The long pause before her lips parted, the sad apologetic look and the suppressed tears on her eyes, the trembling, and all those gestures could only mean one thing. I heard her voice saying it even before her voice could be heard.

"I'm sorry, Sakura."

I didn't cry, you know. I didn't smile either. Of course I was sad, of course I was devastated, but I knew this would happen unless you gave up and retire. And of course you wouldn't retire. You were just thirty-five then, far from the age of retirement. And you were a great shinobi. See, this is the curse every great shinobi have to face: they don't die normally; they're always killed in action, as they never stop fighting. I was a kunoichi, after all. I've had my share of killing and seeing people killed. I was not the naive girl I had been; I know how it all worked. So no, I didn't cry. The tears of grief and fear of being alone had been shed the very night before, and many other nights. So no matter how much grief I feel at that time, I did not cry.

Maybe Tsunade-sama thought I was too shaken to react when I just froze and stare that morning, so she excused herself and asked me to come to the Hokage Tower later on in the afternoon.

I went through activities normally. I packed your stuff in a box and placed it in a corner. I went to the market and bought myself ingredients for lunch. At the market, I met the girls. They hugged me and cried for me and said "I'm sorry" times and times over again. Hinata was practically sobbing; I suppose she was reminded to the day Naruto died. I hugged them back and said, "I'm sorry too" but I didn't cry, as they had done all the crying for me. Hinata thought that I was very brave. Ino thought I was just too shocked to make any proper reaction. Some older women just said things like "She was just after his money anyways, no wonders she doesn't cry." I ignored them and pretended I didn't hear them, just like what I had been doing since we started our relationship.

It was a really beautiful day, you know. The weather was perfect. The only thing missing was you, your eye crinkle smile, your smirk under your mask, your lazy dark eyes, you. On days like these we used to walk hand in hand to the training ground and spar, and then we would go home and have dinner.

That afternoon I went to Hokage-sama's office. She was just finishing her work, and with a sad smile she took me to the shinobi morgue. Laid on the table, stiff and cold, was your body. Your whole body was covered in blood. Typical of how a shinobi dies. Tsunade-sama related every detail, and her voice was echoing away. Those details didn't matter. They still don't.

Then, she made her way to a locker and took out a box. She gave it to me, saying that it was the things you had with you on that mission. Then from her pocket she retrieved an envelope and put it on top of the box. Then she left.

I took the letter and ripped the envelope. I read the first sentence. _Sakura, my cherry blossom, I wish you would never have to read this letter._ However, I stopped reading after that first sentence and decided to open the box.

In the box, there were scrolls, a water can, a mattress, and the usual things. I found the small medic kit Rin gave you a long time ago. I opened it and I found, other than the original contents, several bottles of antidote I gave you the week before. I felt annoyed to see that the antidotes had not been what you needed to save your life. Then I remembered that medications had never been something you like.

In the weapon pack I found your old favorite Icha Icha novel. I remembered how you first trained us, team seven. You would dodge every attack we made while still reading the damned book. Several years afterwards, you lost to me and Naruto because of the book. You told me once that since we had our relationship, I had been one of your two weaknesses. The other was the book. I smacked you hard that day because I didn't like the idea of being equal with such a perverted book. Then I realized that I had never read the book. I made a mental note to read it later. I still haven't read it now.

In the pocket of your jounin vest, I found a small box, pink like my hair. I opened it. In it was a ring made of grayish silver like your hair, decorated with a small green jewel like my eyes. Funny how the colors match each other, an unlikely combination that fits together. Funny how it's just like us.

I continued to read the letter you made.

_Sakura, my cherry blossom, I wish you would never have to read this letter._

_I wish the mission would just go well, and on the way home I'd stop by this talented jewelry artist and then give you the ring, and then you would scream "YES!" while your face turn to the same color like your hair. Then Tsunade-sama could just burn this letter and I would just write a new one before I start another mission, but the new letter would only be burnt anyways._

_How I wish that to happen. I suppose if you're reading it now, I am no longer there. If that is the case, Sakura, you know what I want to say. I love you. I want to marry you, I want to be the father of your children, and I want to spend my life saying romantic sappy things which are also true. I want to wake up every morning beside you, feel your pink air tickle my face; hear our children squeal and jump to wake us up in the morning._

_But that's not possible, for I am no longer there. So please just be happy. Please remember me as a fond memory, but nothing more. If you want to visit me at the memorial, that's fine, but please move on and be happy too. Please don't change, and stay happy and beautiful like you are now. If you can't, just forget me. The memory of an old man killed in action is not worth your happiness and beauty._

_Yours,_

_Kakashi_

Only after that I wept. Not because you're gone. It's because you ask for the impossible. How am I supposed to move on if by this letter alone you convinced me that you're the one? How am I supposed to stay the same if part of me is missing? How can I ever forget you, while your name would always be there, engraved along with other names I know and love? You ask too much of me, and I cried because I can't give you what you wanted as your last wish.

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Depressing, I know. I really appreciate it if you like it and put it in your personal favorites, but please leave me some comment. It's not hard, just a few words and critics and things you need to say. Thanks a lot.


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